Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
