I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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