i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize