just tell him i said nine months
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
