LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
