when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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