Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
