Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
