I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
