i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
what day is it and did you see me today?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
