We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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