I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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