I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
ttyl tear gas
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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