Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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