I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
