"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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