I CAN MOONWALK!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
