Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
