Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize