Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
