What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
