I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize