Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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