i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
