no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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