Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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