There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Who put my cat in the fridge?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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