She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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