what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
