I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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