I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
