I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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