TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
where are my eyebrows?
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