Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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