i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
