Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
