I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
