i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
smell my finger.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
