Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
