I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ketchup is God's man juice
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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