He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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