tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
