Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
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I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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