bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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