omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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