i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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