I think my vagina is haunted
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
