i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
