Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
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