I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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