Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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