Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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