Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
