Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
