ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
