well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
