Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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