Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
