My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
