Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
do herpes really smell.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
