I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize