Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
